My husband is in the dog house!
My husband is in the dog house !!! It's rare that he is in there but this time he really does deserve it. His twisted and warped sence of humour has him in trouble. Even after the events he still finds it really funny sniggering like a naughty school boy.....MEN!!!
So I have been really busy teaching Sophie important skills that will help shape and inteprate her world, she is such a smarty pants in my eyes at two she can do her alphabet all the way to Z and count to 20 and say the colours of the rainbow and use her knife to cut her dinner. I'm so proud of her. It's such an important role as a parent to prepare your off spring for the big wide world, I thought Ali my hubby was also lavishing knowledge to her.
That was until we attended our regular hart beeps session, Sophie loves this and is one of the kids that stands in the middle with the teacher showing all the smaller kids what to do. Week after week she dances and sings and is a little show off, this particular week however ended not as I expected. All the mummies where sitting down in a circle with their kiddies between their laps happily joining in when Sophie decide that she would run around the circle of mummies at speed slapping them on the boobies shouting BONGOS BOOBIES BONGO BOOBIES this was followed seconds later by sharp intakes of breath from cross looking women and evil flicks of eyes in my direction, some mummies nervously laughed and some tried to protect themselves before Soph made it to them. If I didn't think this was bad enough some little boys thought this was a more entertaining game than what was on offer to them and joined Sophie leaping round the circle bashing boobies shouting BONGO BOOBIES while me and the mummies of the boys were in hot pursuit of these nippy nippers, the class ended in chaos and me apologising the best I could with a red face as I got comments like well I never and oh my goodness. Lucky some mummies laughed and were nice, and I had to sit down and have a little conversation not to hit ladies boobies. When I got home I told Ali who fell on the floor in a fit of laugher.....MEN!
Next event and not as bad as above but still not nice and landed Ali in the dog house was at our local swimming baths, as we floated along after a swimming lesson we went past two lovely old ladies wearing flowery rubber hats. Sophie shrilled oh flowers and this got their attention and they decided to stop their lane swimming to come and show Sophie their hats and have a little conversation with her, I think with the rubber hats or maybe the age and they were quite taken with her big blue eyes they came in rather close to her. They spoke to her about their flowers and then told her how pretty she was and how they had seen her swimming with mummy and then asked her what her name was..... Sophie all this time was looking at this pair of pensioners and when it came to answering her name to ladies, she took a scoop of water in her mouth and spat it with force in their faces. I have never seen old people move so fast. Backing off one of them said oooh that's not nice, I told Sophie off who was giggling her head off and apologised to the ladies and left the swimming pool.
When I got home I told Ali about it and he said proudly oh yes I taught that in the bath...MEN!
Lastly Ali's has managed to turn Sophie into Darth Vader. I have caught them stick fighting in the garden and admittedly it looked like a fun kid thing to do, until I caught Sophie chasing one of her little friends who was shrieking in fear from a stick wielding Sophie who was growling Monster Monster in a really scary demonic voice. I have now had to point out that maybe he needs to think about what he teaches this rather Impressionable little learning sponge and maybe lay off the sticks for a bit.
Between the two of us we have a good balance of fun and learning but I really think he needs to think about the consequences of his naughty fun activities. Before I get banned from music classes, the local pool and not having little friends come to visit, as well as an army of the grey brigade give us a piece of their minds. However I think my guidance my have fallen on deaf ears, as the sniggering baffoon thought all this was highly amusing and even said well done Sophie......MEN!!!!