How did you feel about a 2nd child


This week i am asking how did you feel about your second child joining the family?

There are so many posts out there about adjusting your first child to the new arrival. For parents there are check list of getting ready for the new arrival like packing your hospital bag and making sure the nursery is ready etc.  There are even posts out there about how neglected fathers feel.  But very little about how you as parents or a mother might feel.  Strange as this sounds i am and my hubby are experiencing feelings about the reality and this new person.  We have got quiet used to the three of us, our routines and how Sophie dictates our day and how we all interact together as a family.  How is adding a forth member to mix going to change us?



Before we got pregnant we went through the thought process about having a second child, how a sibling would be a good addition to the family and Sophie having a playmate, my age as i'm in my 40's and how pregnancy would effect me and getting pregnant too would be harder as i was older. So once we decided that we would take the plunge so to say, I was really excited to be pregnant again, and was determined to enjoy and savoir every moment of the pregnancy as it would be the last one for me, but that wasn't to be.

This pregnancy has been pretty tough for me and i have been quiet poorly throughout it.  That and having a very active daughter taking my attention and being very tired from both these factors i have not been able to connect with the bump like i did when Sophie was in my tummy.  I remember laying in the garden on warm sunny days (yes they do exist in this country sometimes) with Sophie the bump playing her classical music through my tummy and talking to her therefor the connection with Sophie was extremely intimate.

Its not a question of wondering if i have enough love for the second one as that will go without question and i cant wait to have my two girls and start making memories and having adventures with them.  I also feel happy that i have increased confidence that going the first experience with Sophie that my knowledge of what to do will be a cinch this time (maybe i'm fooling myself here).  Although i am not looking forward to the sleep deprivation part and feeling so disconnected from my husband as i will have two little demanding personalities taking all my attention.

i think the issue is now i have just a few weeks to go i realise that i have not had time to have those bonding moments with a bump.   I have felt the kicks in my stomach but being so poorly its felt more like an alien with its own agender taking over moving about inside me.  Even going for the scans although interesting to look at are just so last baby.... been there done that you know what to expect you know what your going to see.  its like all the gloss of the excitement of a second baby is not there as you been through it before.   Your just bracing yourself for the next year or so that your going to be up to your eyes in poo, milk and mess.

In a few weeks there will be a brand new human being that i and my husband have made, an unknown personality,  some one else with their own agenders, demands and desires, who is this person? how will they effect our cozy threesome? the reality of a second child joining the family is just as daunting as the first coming into your world.  I feel so detached and unexcited about the whole forth coming event.  I'm sure once the new baby is here and im feeling better and with the adjustment period within a few months it will be like the new baby was always ment to be with us.

So tell me how did you feel with your second baby due ? If you have written a post in the past or have any thoughts feel free to share them on the linky below or comments section.



6 comments:

  1. If I am totally honest, I was petrified... How would I ever be able to love another baby as much as I loved my little girl. It kept me awake at night at times worrying about it. But then, when I actually had the baby (my now 6 year old little boy), everything just clicked into place, and it was like he had always been an equally loved huge part of our family... You will be fine xx

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    1. Good to know you had feelings to. i just wish i had the time to bond and think about this little person. it will all turn out ok in the end.

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  2. I was very nervous about having my second. He is 6 months old now and i can't remember what life was like before! x

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  3. Strange how the unknown can make you feel nervous. Im glad that every thing clicked into place so quickly

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  4. My daughters are eight and five now so I feel like I'm having to think back quite a bit. But I do remember that the three of us felt such a tight unit before my second girl was born, I just couldn't imagine how life would be when there were four of us. But then as soon as she was born, it was like our family was complete. With the four of us there was balance and symmetry and everything was just as it should be. That doesn't mean it was necessarily easy. Our oldest had the usual older sibling jealousies and life seemed so much more manic, but everything just felt right. Does that make sense?

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    1. oh yes it really does so good to hear your thoughts

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